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The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players
By Desiree Bruyere
Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of all time about piano players. Nothing personal, you understand, since I am one. But a little comic relief laughing at ourselves is good for both our soul and our humility.
So without further ado, here are some of the all time worst piano jokes in descending order:
10. What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric piano have in common.
Answer: Both suck when you plug them in.
9. What does a piano player dream about?
Answer: Sheet music.
8. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
Answer: A flat minor.
7. What's the difference between a piano accompanianist and a terrorist?
Answer: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
6. How do you make a million dollars playing the piano?
Answer: Start with two million.
5. How do you get two piano players to play in perfect unison?
Answer: Shoot one.
4. Did you hear about the piano player who played in rhythm?
Answer: Neither did I.
3. What's the difference between a piano and an onion?
Answer: No one cries when you chop up a piano.
2. What did the piano player get on his IQ test?
Answer: Drool.
1. What's the difference between a medium pizza and a piano player?
Answer: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Pretty bad, eh?
I agree. Now let's all get back to our piano practicing.
PS: None of these lousy jokes are original with me -- they have been around for ages in many forms.
Desiree Bruyere is a free-lance writer and amateur piano player who plays jazz & pop piano strictly for the love of it. She takes piano lessons online and on DVD from her native France, and got started by taking the free 2-year online course in http://www.playpiano.com/ Secrets of Exciting Piano Chords & Sizzling Chord Progressions offered worldwide, then later took the http://www.pianolessonsbyvideo.com/Crash Course In Exciting Piano Playing For Adults
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Desiree_Bruyere
Saturday, September 1, 2007
jokes now
Drunk at Your Door
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you.
Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you.
Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"
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